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WOMANISM
Black Men Debate if Someone Can Be Feminist and a “Good Wife”
Is staying at home and raising kids a requirement these days?
Black men who complain they can’t find a “good wife” may need to consider what that means in the modern era. Does being a good wife require someone to stay at home, raise the kids, and leave any career ambitions in a wastebasket? Or can a “good wife” work outside the home and climb the corporate ladder? The truth is there are as many definitions of “good wife,” and it depends on how you view women, their role in a family, and their independence.
Some men find it hard to believe that women have hopes and dreams separate from their role within a family, as a daughter, sister, mother, or wife. For example, in the debate I overheard, one man insisted a Black woman could not be a “good wife” and a feminist. For him, these terms clash like oil and water. He argued that if he could provide financially for his wife, she would have no reason to leave home, and if she pursued a career, she would be “competing” with him. And while it’s true that many women enjoy staying at home, the idea of socially condemning a woman’s choice for not complying with a narrow interpretation of “wife” is undoubtedly cruel.
