I can def understand the misogynistic history behind changing your name after marriage. For me, I did it because I wanted us to be a family whether we had kids or not. I’m still really close to my family but I had fun changing my name at the SS office. Then my husband said “I’m surprised you didn’t hyphenate.”He knows how stubborn I am. He never knew I wanted to do it. For me, they’re all slave names anyway so it’s more about trying to establish a family. I think these conversations are good because I don’t think he would’ve taken mine. It’s as you said, a patriarchal tradition. Though in Puerto Rico, where I am now, most people keep both names. So they often get confused about what my name is lol. Thanks for writing this. As usual, you always make me think 🖤