Thank you for writing this piece. It was refreshing to see something about abuse with such a positive approach to taking control of our feelings. It is true that abusive people lack empathy. Most abusers will not admit that they are responsible for another person’s pain. My best friend told me before, “They will never admit that they hit you. They will gaslight you”. I found this amazingly true. So instead of looking for this empathy, she said that abuse victims should admit the truth to themselves. This helps by taking control out of the abuser.