You made an excellent point. Approximately 50% of marriages fail. However, if fear of failure is the reason to not try to the best household then I don't know if that is the best way to walk though life. However, it is completely valid to feel that way.
We must also consider that although 67% of white women are married, only 37% of black women are married. Therefore, many Black women and men are jsut not trying. These numbers are so dramatically different that gender variances and asexuality do not account for them. We have to consider that one of the probelms in our community is a lack of faith in the institution of marriage.
We don't need men to raise children but I am not comfortable will promoting a world in which we don't try from fear of failure. If we can find people to make babies with, then we should be able to find men who respect and honor us. After all, 50% of marriages succeed if we look at it from a glass-half full perspective. And this number does not represent Black couples as well since less of us are even married. I am but that's only because I found a non-jerk after meeting many men who did not fit with me.
Relationships will bring pain whether you get married or not and you are free to divorce someone if you like. I'm from New Orleans and for $350 you can get a divorce without a lawyer. I just don't see the harm in trying especially when you have a child to consider.
Men who are not married do not have automatic custody for their children under the law. So they are putting themselves at a custody disadvantage by not trying to marry the mothers of their children.
I'm deeply flawed too. My first marriage failed, so there is your 50% right there and I married someone else and he is awesome. When I got divorced I dressed up and took myself out to eat. I was not even salty, just happy to be free. We have to stop treating marriage like a death sentence. It is a commitment and it does not have to be for life. However, trying is not that bad and it is exciting to take the leap of faith and give someone a chance.
If you had a 50% chance to win the lotto, would you do it? (That's a silly question but I think you understand my point).